People can be really, really dumb sometimes. I find that people usually display their lack of brain cells driving or shopping. Working two jobs I have come in contact with a fair amount of people and there are just some things I can not stand anymore.
Here are some of my favorite customer service moments:
Hang up your damn phone/stop texting (for 5 fucking seconds).
Customer: "Oh em gee, she was all like, annoying and I was like ugh, oh, hold on, can I have a candy apple? Yeah, and I was like.."
Me: "Would you like that sliced or bagged to go?"
Customer: "Uh, huh...uh, huh..."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Customer: "Sorry, hold on a second. What?"
Me: "Would you like your apple sliced?"
Customer: "Oh, yeah, sure."
(As I'm cutting the apple.)
Customer: "Oh my God! Stop it!"
Me: (Turning around franticly) "Yes?"
Customer: "What? Oh, not you."
Then they're still on the phone when you try to tell them how much it is and he/she takes 10 minutes to search for change (usually these people are female, in which case she will have an oversized designer handbag she must dig through) for change while balancing the phone. Really, can you just put it down for a minute or two? Then you get the one who is texting and can't bother to even LOOK UP when speaking to you. Really, you can't pause for less than 10 seconds to say "May I please have a small vanilla ice cream?" And curse bluetooths. Worst damn invention ever. And don't you dare put your finger up to my face to "Hold on a moment." GTFO
We cashiers are PEOPLE just like you. Believe it or not, they haven't replaced us with robots just yet. And for that reason we would like to be treated as such. We are, afterall, serving you. You could be polite. Maybe say please; give a quick "thanks" as you walk out the door enjoying your one-way ticket to obesity--I mean, delicious treat? Or maybe spare a few cents when I slice five apples for you.
Please pay attention. In stores that are busy and there is a line of people, be aware of your place. We do not have eyes covering our bodies and do not see the exact time you stepped into the store. When we ask "Can I help whoever is next?" Speak. Up. If you don't, someone else and we're going to serve them. Don't get in a huff if someone takes your spot. It is not our problem.
Do not tell me how to do my job. Last time I checked, I was the one standing in front of the register and you're behind it being a douchebag. A little background info for chocolate shops: when you weigh chocolate there is "tare" button. This button will read the scale and then deduct the weight when you place the next item on the scale.
Customer: "Um, you already weighed that caramel."
Me: "Yeah, I tared it."
Customer: *Blank stare*
Me: "The scale resets."
Customer: "Then you're still charging me extra."
Me: "Well, no, it reads the weight and deducts it."
Customer: *All huffy and annoyed* "Alright, fine."
Look, I know what I'm doing. I also have a general idea of prices. Obviously, if a strawberry is ringing in as 2 bucks (yeah, chocolate can be pricey) it's not adding the cost of a 1.50 caramel.
At Coldstone:
Customer: "Can I have a gotta have it cheesecake ice cream with brownie, cookie dough, jimmies, MandMs, and fuge on a sugar cone?"
Me: "I'll have to put the ice cream in a cup with the cone on top, or I can put it in one of our waffle cones/bowls. The ice cream will become too soft after we mix it and will fall off the cone."
Customer: "The waffles are too big, I can't just have it in a sugar cone?"
Me: "...Sir, the ice cream will not stay on the cone."
Customer: "Well, I have to drive home, I need it in a cone."
Me: "...I can put it in a waffle cone, sir."
Customer: "Fine, whatever, just give me the bowl."
Me: "Would you like the sugar cone on top?"
Customer: "No, forget it."
OK, wtf? Do you really think ice cream twice the size of your fist is going to fit on a cone with an opening slightly bigger than a quarter? Oh, and I love it when they INSIST they're right and then come crawling back to fix their mistake. For example, if I were to balance a large ice cream on a sugar cone after warning him/her many times, and the ice cream tumbles to the ground or melts onto his/her grimy fingers. "Can I get a new one?" No you fat cow. "Can I have a cup? This is dripping everywhere." I told you so you fucking dumbass.
Customer: "I'll take a pecan bear apple, please."
Me: "Would you like it sliced?"
Customer: "Oh, no I like to eat them off the stick." (Keep in mind pecan bear apples consist of a layer of caramel, rolled in a layer pecans and thickly drizzled with dark, white, and milk chocolate. the shell of this beast is like, half an inch.)
Me: "Ma'am, are you sure? It's a lot easier to eat when sliced. We cut it right around the core into 8 slices."
Customer: "No, no, I'm an experienced apple eater, haha."
Me: "Ooh-kay, then."
(5 minutes later)
Same customer: "Um, excuse me, can you, like, cut this?"
There are bite marks all over the apple. You bitch.
Just because I work here doesn't mean I founded the franchise.
While working at Coldstone:
Customer: "You know, there's a place [in the town I grew up in] who does this same kind of thing. They mix on a stone like this.
Me: "Oh, I've never heard of it."
Customer: "Yeah, they've been doing it for years."
Me: "Good for them..."
Customer: "Hehe, guess Coldstone isn't so original afterall."
Me: "...here's your Chocolate Devotion. That'll be $5.25..."
I'm sorry, is there something you would like me to do with the information you have blessed me with? Let me call up Coldstone headquaters and have them shut down for being copycats. WTF?
And at Rocky Mountain Choco:
Customer: "Excuse me, what percent is your dark chocolate?"
Me: "54 percent."
Customer: "Oh, it's not like 70 percent?"
Me: "...no, it's 54"
Customer: "Oh, I'm used to 72 percent. I'm a Chocolatier. I used to work at [some wicked awesome well-known place]. I owned my own business, you know."
Me: "Wow, that's great. Can I get you something?"
Customer: "Do you have [something weird that we don't make]?"
Me: "No, I'm sorry. We have [something similar]."
Customer: "No...that's not what I want. We used to make [blah blah blah]."
Me: "oh...Can I help you with anything else?"
Customer: "Yeah, can I get a dark chocolate pecan cluster?"
Ok, if you're going to criticize the product...don't come in. If you can do it better, don't complain about it and go make it yourself. There is no point if you're going to buy a shitload of stuff anyway.
People are just really dumb sometimes. And dumb people make me sad.
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